A Three-Year-Old’s Wisdom

tea-381235_1280February 2015—Several weeks ago, I gave a talk to parents of obese children on how to live a healthy lifestyle. Approximately 25 minutes into the talk a sweet 3-year-old girl with medium-brown hair in pigtails quietly walked into the room and took a seat next to her mother. Moments prior to her entrance, I had presented the following question to the parents: “What kinds of things do you do to relax when you feel stressed?” The audience avoided eye contact with me, looked around the room and pretended that they needed to check their Blackberrys at that exact moment all in effort to avoid answering my question.

I decided to ask the question again…silence.

As I continued to survey the room, my eyes slowly met with those of the 3-year-old girl. I looked at this little girl in pigtails and asked for her name…“Lyla,” she answered shyly. I proceeded to ask Lyla if she ever feels stressed? She looked directly at me with bright brown eyes and answered my question with ease… “Definitely!” she proclaimed. It took me a moment to grasp my head around the fact that someone so young could even begin to understand what it meant to feel stressed.

I then asked Lyla the same question that I asked the parents moments prior to Lyla’s seemingly inconspicuous entrance…“What kind of things to you like to do when you feel stressed,” I asked. Without hesitation, Lyla quickly, with a matter-of-fact tone answered, “I just put on my pink dress.” So simple. Just to clarify, I asked “So all you need to do when you feel stress is put on your pink dress and all of your stress melts away?” She answered softly, yet with genuine confidence, “Yeah, I just put on my pink dress.”

This innocent exchange got me thinking…where is my pink dress? Perhaps, finding a reliable way to relax is easier than we think. Maybe we are trying too hard to relax. When Lyla talked about her pink dress, she breathed diaphragmatically without intention. It appeared that even thinking about this dress served to naturally induce a relaxation response for this little girl.

To be clear, I am not suggesting that you (regardless of gender) go out and buy a pink dress. What I do suggest is to take about 10 minutes to sit down and think about an item or activity that you find relaxing. Think about your senses: whether it’s wrapping yourself up in a warm fuzzy blanket, spritzing on your favorite perfume or cologne so you can smell it throughout the day, listening to a song that you find soothing, taking a sip of hot or iced tea, petting your dog or cat, holding a memento (i.e., a favorite photo, a sentimental object), notice how both your mind and body feel as you engage in any of the above-noted activities.

As I have mentioned in previous articles, the more our society increases its desired, unrealistically fast pace, the more important it becomes for you to take a moment and breathe. The items and activities mentioned above oftentimes serve as “triggers.” Implementing a simple, yet meaningful object or activity into your daily routine may serve to naturally induce a relaxation response with little to no effort.

Have a great month & as always don’t forget to breathe!


The Mind Body Minute with Dr. Ellyn L. Turer

Psychologist DC-Mind Body Minute with Dr Ellyn TurerJanuary, 2015 — STRESS. A word in which we are all too familiar. It seems as if the pace of our society becomes quicker with each passing moment, ultimately causing each of us to experience unnaturally high levels of stress on a regular basis. Routine exposure to such high levels of stress produces physiological and psychological reactions. The development of a weakened immune system, high blood pressure, extreme fatigue, difficulty concentrating, anxiety, and depression are just a few examples of the mental and physical effects of stress on the human body.

Further, the society in which we live is saturated with stress. It is also one enamored with the “quick fix.” Living in a quick-fix society ultimately serves to prevent one from learning how to solve issues long-term. Thus, we get further drawn into a vicious cycle where we experience stress, look for a quick fix, and find short-term relief, only to find ourselves inundated with stress once again. Stress is like driving your car in the driveway, placing the car in park and pressing on the accelerator. After a while, the car will overheat. Our bodies work in a similar manner because we too have breakdown due to stress.

Few people have truly effective ways to handle stress. Some people do things to alleviate the symptoms of stress, yet never actually work on the problem itself. Somewhere along the line we stopped trusting ourselves and our natural ability to decrease feelings of stress. There is no better time than the present to start rebuilding that trust.

As each new life begins with a single breath, so too will this journey aimed to help each of us live more satisfying, stress-reducing lifestyles. Two words…just breathe. It seems too simple. However, learning how to breathe properly actually serves to induce a relaxation response in our bodies. Diaphragmatic breathing occurs when you inhale slowly through your nose and exhale slowly through your mouth. Imagine that you are blowing out a candle as you exhale through your mouth. Close your eyes and continue to breath in this fashion for three to five minutes. Practice this relaxation technique at least one to two times daily. The more you practice, the easier it will become for you to relax your mind and body. Once you have taken your first diaphragmatic breath, you have officially embarked on this stress-reducing journey.

Have a wonderful month and please don’t forget to breathe!


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Teletherapy Services Available to DC and Maryland Residents

Stress Management

svc-3-140When an individual is exposed to a stressful stimulus, they may react in many ways. The actual physiological response frequently prompted by this stressful stimulus is known as, “fight or flight.” Stress management involves the teaching of various effective techniques & therapies geared toward controlling perceived/experienced levels of stress. Through the learning of such techniques, the individual becomes equipped w/ personalized effective coping mechanisms to increase one’s overall quality of life. People have significantly more control over how they experience and react to stressful situations than they give themselves credit.

svc-4-140Mind/Body Wellness

As our minds and bodies are connected, emotional pain can cause physical pain and vice versa. Learning how to lesson or deal with pain leads to happier, healthier lives.

svc-2-140Sleep Hygiene

Poor sleep habits can develop over a period of time and are often a result of a hectic day. Breaking these habits will help you return to and maintain a regular sleep pattern.

svc-7-140Anxiety Disorders

Anxiety disorders can be extremely serious. Untreated anxiety can lead to ruined relationships, lost jobs, and/or deep depression. It’s important to seek treatment right away to prevent further consequences.


Depression is a common, but serious illness. Long term extreme sadness causes pain to you and your loved ones. Depression is the strongest risk factor for suicide, so it’s vital to seek help if you think you may be depressed.

svc-5-140Mourning and Loss

The loss of a family member, friend or even a pet can be difficult to accept. There are different stages of mourning and everyone deals with them differently. Working through the pain sooner rather than later will help you to move on.


Grief is a natural reaction to the loss of someone or something that you love. It’s important to learn how to cope with the grief so it doesn’t interfere with your daily lifestyle.


svc-6-140Medical/Health Psychology

(Adjustment to physical injury, illness, & disability)- Serious illness, injury, or disability is life changing in many ways and requires a great deal of adjustment. Learning how to handle the emotional aspects can help you through the process.


Mindfulness allows us to accept what is happening for what it is instead of trying to change it. Learning how to achieve mindfulness gives us the ability to enjoy our lives without constantly trying to fix them.



Teletherapy Services Available
to DC and Maryland Residents

Dr Ellyn Turer Psychologist DCDr. Ellyn L. Turer is a LICENSED Psychologist, serving Washington DC (District of Columbia), Maryland (MD) and specializing in total mind and body health. She is particularly interested in working with individuals and their loved ones coping with the emotional and mental ramifications of physical illness and injury.

Throughout our website you’ll find additional information regarding her
specialties as well as office location and contact information.

With an Office Location on DuPont Circle, Washington D.C.,
Dr. Ellyn L. Turer Specializes in:

  • Stress Management
  • Mind/Body Wellness
  • Sleep Hygiene
  • Anxiety Disorders
  • Depression
  • Mourning and Loss
  • Grief
  • Medical/Health Psychology
  • Mindfulness/Meditation

Now serving patients in Maryland!

Psychology Articles & Other News

  • Dr. Turer’s Non-Negotiables for Happiness & Balance (10/31/2018) - By Dr. Ellyn Turer -- October 22, 2018 -- There are 5 actionable & non-negotiable things I believe everyone can do to start feeling happier today. I call them non-negotiables because there is no negotiating out of doing them. I have been both actively pursuing and fascinated with happiness and balance for… ...Read More
  • A Three-Year-Old’s Wisdom (1/30/2015) - February 2015---Several weeks ago, I gave a talk to parents of obese children on how to live a healthy lifestyle. Approximately 25 minutes into the talk a sweet 3-year-old girl with medium-brown hair in pigtails quietly walked into the room and took a seat next to her mother. Moments prior… ...Read More
  • The Mind Body Minute with Dr. Ellyn L. Turer (1/14/2015) - January, 2015 -- STRESS. A word in which we are all too familiar. It seems as if the pace of our society becomes quicker with each passing moment, ultimately causing each of us to experience unnaturally high levels of stress on a regular basis. Routine exposure to such high levels… ...Read More
  • Soothe Your Mind to Heal Your Body (10/31/2014) - November 16, 2014 -- By Dr. Ellyn L. Turer, Psy.D. -- I obtained a doctorate in clinical psychology to work with individuals diagnosed with an illness or injury as well as their families to help cope with the emotional/mental ramifications of having an illness/injury or being involved with such an individual.… ...Read More